About This Blog

My stepmom and I on my wedding day. I wonder if my stepkids will ever
love me like I love her.

I think my husband and I are pretty lucky. I work in child support therefore I see the good, bad and the ugly when it comes to divorce. We have four healthy children, three of which are his from a prior marriage. We have had a good run so far in this marriage thing, eleven years together, married eight. Sometimes I can't help but wonder though, if someone had told me (you know, twenty-five year old me) what life was like with three step children and an ex-wife written into my vows, would I have chosen this?  I always hear, "Why of course you would have! You wouldn't have your son!!"   To that I think, okay genius, you're right, but let's think outside the box for a minute.

I'm guessing if you're here, you may be a step parent too, so you're feeling me.  It's not about wanting to walk away from your family or wish that your entire life could be rewritten.  It's just really hard sometimes.  Eleven years ago, as a wide-eyed, lovestruck kid, I walked right into instant parenthood.  I promised them the day I married their father that I would love them and treat them as if they were my own children. I lied.  It's not possible, and if it is, please someone show me the light!

Here's the catch about step parenting that no one tells you about until it's too late: You are expected to love these children like they are your own. You are expected to protect them with your life, as you would your own child. In the end though, you have no true say in anything that really matters like how they are raised and shaped as human beings! Add a new child to the mix, and the batter only gets thicker. I would love to know how other people feel about being step parents. You would think I would have it all down by now. Those little kids I met eleven years ago are now 16, 18 and 20.  I'm hoping by the time they walk down the aisle, or graduate college, or maybe even become step parents themselves, I'll get this thing figured out.